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The Silent Suffering of Men: Addressing Abuse and Inequity in Divorce Laws

The Silent Suffering of Men: Addressing Abuse and Inequity in Divorce Laws

In discussions about marital conflicts and divorce, the focus often highlights the suffering of women facing abuse, discrimination, and numerous challenges. This emphasis has driven the creation of many protective laws designed to safeguard women’s rights and well-being. However, there is a growing global concern about the plight of men who endure mental torture, harassment, and other forms of abuse during marriage and divorce proceedings. The misuse of laws intended to protect women can lead to significant emotional and legal challenges for men.

The Undercurrents of Marital Strife

Marital discord is not exclusive to any gender. Both men and women can be victims of mental torture, harassment, and other forms of abuse. Continuous blaming, nagging, and disrespect from either partner can create a toxic environment. Men often endure these issues in silence due to societal expectations that discourage them from expressing vulnerability or seeking help. This silence perpetuates the cycle of distress and isolation.

Legal Disparities and Misuse of Protective Laws

The legal framework in many countries is heavily skewed towards protecting women, rooted in the historical context of women’s oppression and marginalization. Laws such as the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act in India and the Violence Against Women Act in the United States have provided much-needed support to countless victims. However, these laws are sometimes exploited, resulting in undue privileges for women at the expense of men who may be innocent or equally victimized.

During divorce proceedings, this imbalance becomes starkly apparent. Men often find themselves at a disadvantage, facing allegations that can lead to severe legal and financial consequences. In many jurisdictions, including the United Kingdom and Canada, men are sometimes subject to false accusations of abuse under laws like the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 and the Family Law Act, respectively. The lack of a parallel legal framework to address men’s rights and grievances leaves them vulnerable to misuse of protective laws by their spouses. This misuse can manifest in false accusations of abuse, demands for excessive financial settlements, and unwarranted restrictions on access to children.

The Psychological and Social Impact on Men

The consequences of this legal imbalance are profound. Men who are falsely accused or unfairly treated during divorce suffer from severe psychological distress. The stigma associated with being labeled an abuser can lead to social ostracization, career setbacks, and a breakdown in personal relationships. The financial strain of legal battles and alimony payments further exacerbates their mental and emotional turmoil.

Moreover, the societal expectation for men to remain stoic and resilient compounds their suffering. Men are less likely to seek psychological help or support from friends and family, fearing judgment or ridicule. This isolation can lead to long-term mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and, in extreme cases, suicidal tendencies.

The Situation in Bangladesh

In Bangladesh, the নারী ও শিশু নির্যাতন দমন আইন ২০০০ (Women and Children Repression Prevention Act 2000) grants significant privileges to women. Unfortunately, this law is often misused, leading to the harassment and abuse of men. Men accused under this act can be denied bail for up to three years, facing severe injustice. There are no equivalent laws for men, leaving them without legal recourse when falsely accused or harassed. Men can be accused of rape even in consensual situations, and when women force men into unwanted sexual activities, the men’s inability or unwillingness is stigmatized, often labeled as incapacity.

The Need for Legal Reforms and Gender-Neutral Protections

Addressing this issue requires a comprehensive approach that includes legal reforms and societal change. Firstly, there is a need to establish gender-neutral laws that protect all individuals, regardless of their gender, from domestic abuse and harassment. For instance, the Domestic Abuse Bill in the UK has made strides towards recognizing male victims, but further efforts are needed globally to ensure balanced protections.

Additionally, the legal system must incorporate safeguards to prevent the misuse of protective laws. This could include stricter scrutiny of abuse claims, mandatory counseling for couples, and penalties for false accusations. Such measures would help balance the scales of justice and ensure that protective laws serve their intended purpose without being exploited.

Promoting a Culture of Support and Equality

Beyond legal reforms, it is crucial to foster a cultural shift that encourages men to speak out about their experiences and seek help without fear of stigma. Public awareness campaigns, support groups, and mental health services tailored to men can play a vital role in this regard. By normalizing conversations about men’s mental health and vulnerabilities, society can create a more inclusive environment that supports all victims of abuse, irrespective of gender.


The issue of men suffering from mental torture, harassment, and abuse in marriages, compounded by the misuse of protective laws during divorce, is a pressing global concern. It highlights the urgent need for legal reforms that ensure equal protection for both men and women. By addressing these disparities and promoting a culture of support and equality, society can move towards a more just and balanced approach to marital conflict and divorce. It is high time to recognize and address the silent suffering of men, ensuring that their rights and well-being are protected alongside those of women. By advocating for gender-neutral protections and promoting mental health awareness, we can ensure that all individuals have the rights and support they need to live free from abuse and harassment.

A Call to Action

Men must realize that they are not merely passive recipients of rights and privileges under the guise of equality. It is crucial for men to actively fight against the odds for their rights and respect. This is the time for all individuals, regardless of gender, to stand up and fight for their rights. Let us advocate for true equality, where everyone is protected, respected, and given the opportunities to live free from abuse and harassment.


"Empower All: Equality for Every Voice, Every Right."

By: Barrister Mahmood Morshed, Barrister-at-Law, Advocate, Supreme Court of Bangladesh


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